Bachelor Party
by AerinM
Summary: Warren is getting married, and Dale is responsible for party planning. Dale doesn't plan parties. Whatever shall they do? (AKA shenanigans ensue.)


_This particular oneshot is dedicated to Cosplaygirl2002, as she's been one of my most faithful followers and reviewers for the past 5 years. (Have I really been writing Fablehaven fanfiction for that long!?) I hope you enjoy the goofy male bonding time. :) Thank you for your support even after all this time!_

* * *

Dale was no stranger to duty and responsibility. He worked hard at the preserve day in and day out – Stan may be the caretaker of Fablehaven by contract, but Dale was often the one who held the place together. He knew everything about how the preserve operated, the ins and outs, and balanced relations between the varying creatures he had been granted stewardship over with expert-level diplomacy. He was the king of preparedness and organization.

When Warren asked Dale to be his best man, Dale was happy to accept. He could handle all of the responsibilities associated with that temporary title, and he was honored to take on the role. Between him and Kendra, Vanessa's maid of honor, the logistics of the wedding were completely figured out and they were all looking forward to the main event.

So how could he overlook the bachelor party? Kendra hadn't forgotten Vanessa's bachelorette party – she'd dropped a hint to him earlier that day about what they were planning to do that evening. The bachelor party just completely spaced Dale's mind. _Or had it, really?_

Truth be told, Dale wasn't a party planner. He was a solid, reliable task-completer. Dale liked lists, and he liked to check off the tasks on the lists as they were completed.

But plan a party?

Sure, parties involved lists; but he also had to be the one to come _up_ with all of the items on those lists.

He'd wracked his brain trying to think of an event which Warren would enjoy and Vanessa wouldn't be angry about, which was also appropriate for Seth to go to (because they were _not_ going to exclude the kid), and which Dale would actually like to participate in – because what was the point of planning a party and attending said party if he wasn't going to _enjoy_ it?

Unfortunately, it'd left him with a bit of a quandary on his hands. Dale didn't plan parties. He didn't have any ideas. And before he knew it, it was the day of the bachelor party.

Dale watched as Warren kissed his soon-to-be bride goodbye before she was shuttled outside by a group of giggling women, not to be seen again until the following day. He watched as Warren shut the front door and turned toward the group of men in the living room, all of whom shifted their gazes toward him. Watched as Warren grew a ridiculous grin on his face and rubbed his hands together expectantly.

"What's the plan?" Warren asked.

Dale looked at everyone else, then pursed his lips and was about to admit that _there was no plan_ when Seth suddenly piped up. "Everyone to the cars. Follow me and Dale!" he shouted. "Grab a coat – you're all going down!"

Warren smirked and switched from rubbing his hands to clapping them. "Alright! Let's get this party started!" He whooped as he ushered their companions into the front of the house and out the door, then followed suit after everyone else.

Dale stood in the entryway, not quite sure what was happening, but he grabbed Seth before the kid could leave the house.

"So…" he began. "Where exactly are we all going?"

"Kendra told me you were stressing out about the party, so I came up with an idea. Just go with it." Seth shrugged Dale's hand off of his arm, then said, "I'll drive."

"You only have your learner's permit. You're not driving a car full of people _anywhere_." Dale snatched the keys out of Seth's grip.

"Killjoy."

* * *

"Someone's coming up on your left," Trask whispered to Dale. The two men were crouched low to the ground.

Dale poked his head up and to the left a bit, but didn't see anyone. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Hmm. Doubt the guy who has experience with this type of thing. I see how it is." Trask rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. I was joking."

Dale didn't know that Trask told jokes in the first place. He looked over to his left again and this time, he spotted Bracken trying to sneak past Dale's careful guard in order to infiltrate the red base. Dale acted quickly and pointed his gun at Bracken, but he wasn't fast enough – his own vest and gun made crashing noises and started flashing. Trask's gear followed suit shortly thereafter, and Bracken took advantage of their temporary disability in order to dash into the red base and shoot at the target inside.

"I told you someone was coming up on your left," Trask stated, standing up from his crouched position. Dale copied his actions and waited for his gear to stop flashing – the sign which would indicate that he was no longer paralyzed and could resume the hunt (or defense, in his case).

"Who shot us?" Dale asked. "Was it Bracken?"

"I don't think so," Trask replied. "But I couldn't tell."

"It was Seth," Bracken told them while fleeing their base, sending them a cheerful wave as he left their presence right as their vests and guns stopped flashing.

Trask opted to chase the unicorn while Dale remained behind to continue guarding the red base. He hadn't played laser tag before, but he had to admit he was enjoying himself. Kudos to the kid for coming up with the idea. Dale, Trask, Hank and Tanu currently made up the red team while Bracken, Seth, Stan and Warren made up the blue team. It was a Friday night and they rotated rounds with other people who had also come to play, so they had breaks between sessions. So far they'd played three games and Bracken and Seth always somehow managed to wind up being teamed together – which simply wasn't _fair_ because of Bracken's wicked-fast reflexes and Seth's ability to disappear in the darkness (sometimes it just looked like there was a random floating vest and laser gun which occasionally lit up the area around it, and that was only when they could actually manage to even spot the boy in the first place). The two of them were a formidable force to be reckoned with. They were all pretty good at the game – even Stan and Hank, which kind of surprised everyone – but Seth and Bracken were easily the two most advantageous players.

And Dale had always been on the opposite team as them, which meant that he had yet to taste victory.

He wasn't bitter. Nope.

A countdown from ten began via the overhead speaker system, signaling that the end of their game was approaching. With that in mind, Dale decided for once to throw caution to the wind. He jumped out from his hiding place and sped-walked across the course, intent on finding and shooting at anyone with a blue vest.

_There_.

He fired straight ahead of him at the blue vest he spotted; the blue vest immediately started making crashing noises and flashed blue and white. Seth turned toward Dale with a surprised expression on his face.

Seth. He'd actually shot the un-shootable Seth.

Dale was equally surprised.

So surprised, in fact, that he didn't even notice his brother sneak up behind him.

With two seconds to go, Warren landed a final hit on Dale.

* * *

The group met outside in the lobby and reviewed their scorecards. As expected, Seth and Bracken stole the first two positions with everyone else somewhere behind them. The two in question gave each other a grin and a high-five before Warren clapped Seth on the back and said, "You must be losing your touch. Dale caught you this round. No offense, bro."

Dale rolled his eyes. "No, I get it. I'm one of the worst at this out of everyone else."

"You're being too hard on yourself," Bracken replied. "You haven't played this game before tonight."

"Neither have you," Dale pointed out. Bracken shrugged apologetically.

"You really haven't played laser tag before tonight?" The girl behind the counter, Anna, interjected herself into their conversation. She was maybe 18 at most, and had obviously been trying to get in Bracken's good graces all evening. Her efforts had earned her death glares from Seth, who was protective of his sister's interests, very neutral comments from Bracken himself, and ridiculous amounts of encouragement from Warren, who obviously found the entire situation to be quite funny. "I mean, you're so good at it, I would've thought you'd had a lot of practice in the past."

Her comment was clearly directed at Bracken. The unicorn clearly didn't know how to respond. Seth glared at her again.

"He's great at a lot of things," Warren said, winking at Anna, who blushed and walked back toward the cash register as new customers walked in.

"You shouldn't egg her on like that," Dale chided.

"Yes. Please stop," Bracken agreed.

"Seriously! _Stop!_" Seth exclaimed.

"I'm only teasing. It's not like we're ever going to see her again anyway," Warren defended.

Seth pulled out his phone. "One call to my sister and you're in trouble," he warned.

Warren waved it off. "Please. Kendra would probably think this was funny, too."

Dale begged to differ. "Actually, I think Kendra would be uncomfortable if she were here."

"If Kendra were here, I doubt Anna would be trying to make a move in the first place. Our buddy Bracken sprouts hearts for eyes whenever Kendra's around. He's pretty hung up on her." Warren placed a firm hand on Bracken's shoulder.

The unicorn removed Warren's hand and leveled a flat look at his friend. "I am not amused."

"I am," Warren happily replied. "How much time do we have to kill before Round Four?"

Dale looked at the clock on the wall. "Probably about 20 minutes or so. The new people will likely get a round before we get our next one."

"Excellent. Then there's time to play some of these other games." Warren took off toward the air hockey table, which was currently occupied by Tanu and Trask. Hank and Stan were sitting on stools over in the lounge section of the place, observing the other occupants of the establishment while they sipped on some drinks they'd purchased and laughed at shared memories or jokes or whatever they were talking about.

Bracken turned to Seth. "Arcade games?" he asked.

Seth grinned. "Last one there's a rotten egg," he called as he dashed toward one of the video games in the center of the room.

With a smile, Dale found a vacant seat and watched his friends and family interact. Warren really seemed to be enjoying himself. They'd headed out for laser tag after they'd first taken Warren to a burger joint for dinner. The waitstaff there had made a huge deal out of the fact that they were hosts to a bachelor party; they'd brought out balloons, thrown confetti around, adorned Warren's head with a makeshift crown, given everyone brownies with ice cream for dessert, and sang "Happy, Happy Wedding" (instead of "Happy, Happy Birthday") at least twice. Warren had been in heaven over all of the attention he'd received, and everyone else had had a good time as well.

Seth had really saved his bacon. There was no way Dale would've come up with these ideas on his own, even as simple as they were.

Speaking of the kid… he was glaring at Anna again, who had walked away from behind the front counter in order to actually go and speak to Bracken at the opposite side of the room. Bracken was interacting with her in a friendly manner – Dale doubted that he would ever witness a time when Bracken was anything less than polite – but his body language showed he wasn't interested in continuing to speak with her.

Warren should've just left the situation alone, but no… he'd just _had_ to stir the pot. True, they'd probably never see Anna again, and yes it was kind of funny at first, but now it was getting out of hand.

Time to rescue the unicorn.

Dale walked up to Bracken in time to hear Anna say, "I've seriously never seen such high scores on any of these games. Your friend is right – you're really good at a lot of things, aren't you?"

Bracken rubbed the back of his head with one of his hands. "I have pretty good reflexes," he answered in a tone which suggested that he didn't want to continue talking about it.

"You're really cute," she noted, sending him a flirty smile.

"Hey babe," Dale said, throwing an arm around Bracken's shoulders and pulling him in for a close side-hug. The unicorn stiffened and his eyes widened immensely at the unexpected action. Dale chuckled a little and shook his head. Bracken should know him better by now. He _was_ Warren's brother, after all. They were definitely different people with completely separate personalities, but they both knew how to don an act. "Showing off again, are you?"

Anna had a look on her face which was reminiscent of a deer in the headlights. And if Bracken hadn't really known how to react to Anna earlier, he _most definitely_ did not know how to react to Dale in this exact moment.

"He's so handsome. Don't you think so?" Dale continued, then licked his finger and pretended to try and wipe something off of Bracken's cheek. The unicorn grimaced and shied away at Dale's actions. "It's okay, sweetie. I got the dirt off. Your skin looks as kissable as always, now."

"Umm…" Anna's face was burning red at this point as she was clearly trying to figure out how she'd made such a gross error in judgment. "O-oh, look, there's… a couple of new people. I really should go get them checked in," she stammered. Before she could turn and run, however, Dale stopped her.

"Hey, Anna, would you be a dear and put the two of us on the same team next time? I hate going up against this hottie. He's so distracting when we're out there that I just forget about everyone else around me; it'd be easier to have him on the same team. I might not be such an easy target for everyone else that way, too."

"S-sure," she replied before she dashed away, her face still betraying her embarrassment.

Dale chuckled and turned to look at Bracken, who was still staring at him as though he couldn't process what had just happened. "You're welcome," Dale said, removing his arm from around Bracken's shoulders. The unicorn remained speechless as Seth and Warren started howling with laughter. Tanu, Hank, Stan and even Trask joined in with laughter of their own in quick succession.

Warren hobbled over to them, doubled over with mirth, and wiped tears out of his eyes as he said between guffaws, "_That_… That was… 100% _worth it._"

"_The look on your face!_" Seth cried out. "Kendra's _totally_ gonna hear about this!"

"Best… bachelor party… _ever_," Warren wheezed.

Their evening ended after the fourth and final game which, Dale was pleased to note, his team won. Probably because he'd successfully secured Bracken as a teammate, which had just set them all off into raucous chortles yet again. Poor Anna had appeared to be thoroughly confused by their actions, but she left Bracken alone.

On their way out the door for the night, Dale tossed the car keys to Seth. When the kid looked up at him with a questioning expression, Dale answered with a simple, "Thank you."


End file.
